Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
