John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
