i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
