I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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