Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
