At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
