No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Randomize
