fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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