currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
