So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
