Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
