I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If I die, sorry about rent.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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