Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
