So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
