Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
so let's talk penis.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
