mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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