I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I want a musical about memes.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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