Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
