There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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