Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
