who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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