i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
