why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
