Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize