no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
