people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
