I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
