i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
