Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
