I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
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for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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