dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
