You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
