Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
