So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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