Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
