my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
