Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize