You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
His nipple licking is glorious
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