I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
