she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
