i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
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Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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