It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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