Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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