I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
