ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He better not be in your backpack
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize