She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
