I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Mom said you looked used
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
