You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
