Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Dicks are not precious.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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