it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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