i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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