She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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