You can't motorboat a personality
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize