i barfeds in our rink
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize