Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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