she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
