is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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