i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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