Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
