Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
