also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize