she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize