I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
