I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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