I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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