last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
