You're so nebulous sometimes
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
