i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
