dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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