Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
