so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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