Soap is not a condiment
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize