Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
