On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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